Today is the 24th July 2009 . And right this day, i realized giving assumptions and placing high hopes in something you THOUGHT you might get, is one very foolish, immature and risky act .

Mr. Brian was right, as he always said 'you think, i thought, who confirm?' .

I never know one's desire can affect so much . I learnt a lesson today, truly, deeply, and through the hard way . The more you desire one thing, the more you can't assume and 'i think' about it . Because you wanted it so much, hoped and prayed the day that comes and it would be the way you want, and when reality hits you hard this very day, you realize it dropped your heart from the 100th storey, right to the basement . . . smacked .

I used to trust people easily, and i thought everyone should be given trust, because doubting someone can be rude sometimes . What came to me made me realize, the more i trust people, the more people made me doubt them .

First one broke the trust, i thought he's just the minority .

Second broke the trust, i told myself i'm into bad luck .

Third broke the trust, i convinced myself i made the wrong friend .

Fourth broke the trust, one day things will turn out better .

Fifth came, and repeatedly fail to meet promises, i gave up trusting people .

It's anger, disappointment and self-blaming . I shall ever assume no more, even if the words are spoken from the very lips of my beloved .

The true reason that lies beneath, is i owe them my life, so i'm doing this because this is what they wanted, not what i wanted . My life, only truly last for a few months, a year ago . . . if anyone understand what i'm trying to say .

Quit saying Brunei, will you ? Especially what you plan to deal with the car . Because i had enough .